Third Dimension

Who Said Facebook Can Replace Your Website???

2011-08-22T11:01:00.002+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Did you really believe them?

Sorry to burst their bubble, but websites aren't a luxury, they're a necessity. And I am amazed at how many people there are on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and the other social networks who don't have a website. I think this is a mistake for a number of reasons.

Facebook

Did you know that on Facebook each user has two news feeds? Recent research indicates that perhaps 95% of all Facebook users only see the items in the top news feed. This is the default news feed, the one that Facebook filters to decide what is relevant and therefore that means for a variety of reasons that your posts may never even be seen by the very people who like your page. This means that the Facebook "EdgeRank" score for your wall posts may be deciding who gets to see your wall posts and therefore your time consuming marketing efforts may be a total waste of your time. So! Not only do you have to get them to "Like" your page but you need to educate them as to how they can see your updates which I'll deal with in another post.

Taking Control

Search engines are content driven. And while you may have a nice profile on the various social networks, it's not the same as having unique content on your website.

In addition, you have complete control over the content on your own website, as opposed to social network profiles which are limited by user guidelines and there filter systems as mentioned above. Also, it's much easier to build your brand if you have a website and particularly if you are in control of it!

Think about it!

When you can have your own CMS website designed and built in a way that you have total 24/7 control at your finger tips for £250 it's shear stupidity not to have one, particularly when a single 10cm 2 column advert in the local rag will cost you just as much only to then end up wrapping chips the next day! With a website its permanent and for just a few £s more you can have full integration with the social networks to build and create your brand.

For more information about running your own CMS Website check out Web Design and Photography by Andrew Eldridge to see some snapshots of site designs.

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Social Robot Invasion

2011-08-18T12:13:00.001+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Robot Wars

Am I at war with the robots or should I embrace them?

I recently released a set of 42 Free Twitter Templates and set about promoting it through Twitter and Facebook.

In the knowledge it would bring me more visitors to see my other web design work I thought it well worth investing the three days to create and implement the download system into my website.

To monitor the results I installed a new visitor counter the week before release so that I could instantly see what was going on and the results from the promotion were quite astounding from a site that was attracting only around a dozen visitors per day. With the clock set at the 1956 previous visitors the installation took place and I suddenly found around 100 per day before its promotion launch late one afternoon I sent out the first Tweet and the results came in pretty quickly by midnight the clock had reached 361 visits in one day! The following day saw the site achieve 1117 visitors and this surpassed all my expectations so as you would expect I should be a happy man!

However one thing I noticed was that the bots on site were out numbering the visitors and although they are not counted as a visitor it does make me wonder just who is behind all these bots and what is there purpose?

I've used this promotion combination on my other websites before but never with such an instant success. From a human factor I realise that offering Free Twitter Template to Twitter users was bang on the money as far as target marketing is concerned but what was the key that drew so many bots? Is it the word "FREE" if so why are people setting up these bots to trawl for specific keywords? I can only assume they are but I'd be interested to know a little bit more if anyone can tell me just how they are targeted.

From what I've found out already, the good guys who we want to attract to our web pages, are the search engines, for they are the ones that bring us visitor traffic. However there are bad ones too.

The following is taken from Wikipedia

A Web crawler (BOT) is a computer program that browses the World Wide Web in a methodical, automated manner or in an orderly fashion. Other terms for Web crawlers are ants, automatic indexers, bots, Web spiders, Web robots, or Web scutters.

This process is called Web crawling or spidering. Many sites, in particular search engines, use spidering as a means of providing up-to-date data. Web crawlers are mainly used to create a copy of all the visited pages for later processing by a search engine that will index the downloaded pages to provide fast searches. Crawlers can also be used for automating maintenance tasks on a Web site, such as checking links or validating HTML code. Also, crawlers can be used to gather specific types of information from Web pages, such as harvesting e-mail addresses (usually for sending spam).

A Web crawler is one type of bot, or software agent. In general, it starts with a list of URLs to visit, called the seeds. As the crawler visits these URLs, it identifies all the hyperlinks in the page and adds them to the list of URLs to visit, called the crawl frontier. URLs from the frontier are recursively visited according to a set of policies.

The large volume implies that the crawler can only download a fraction of the Web pages within a given time, so it needs to prioritize its downloads. The high rate of change implies that the pages might have already been updated or even deleted.

The number of possible crawlable URLs being generated by server-side software has also made it difficult for web crawlers to avoid retrieving duplicate content. Endless combinations of HTTP GET (URL-based) parameters exist, of which only a small selection will actually return unique content. For example, a simple online photo gallery may offer three options to users, as specified through HTTP GET parameters in the URL. If there exist four ways to sort images, three choices of thumbnail size, two file formats, and an option to disable user-provided content, then the same set of content can be accessed with 48 different URLs, all of which may be linked on the site. This mathematical combination creates a problem for crawlers, as they must sort through endless combinations of relatively minor scripted changes in order to retrieve unique content.

Malicious use of bots is the coordination and operation of an automated attack on networked computers, such as a denial-of-service attack by a botnet. Internet bots can also be used to commit click fraud and more recently have seen usage around MMORPG games as computer game bots. A spambot is an internet bot that attempts to spam large amounts of content on the Internet, usually adding advertising links.There are malicious bots (and botnets) of the following types:

Spambots that harvest email addresses from internet forums, contact forms or guestbook pages
Downloader programs that suck bandwidth by downloading entire web sites
Web site scrapers that grab the content of web sites and re-use it without permission on automatically generated doorway pages
Viruses and worms
DDoS attacks
Botnets / zombie computers; etc.
File-name modifiers on peer-to-peer file-sharing networks. These change the names of files (often containing malware) to match user search queries.
Automating the entry of internet sweepstakes or instant win games to get an advantage
Automating tasks on promotional web sites to win prizes
Votebots which automatically cast votes for or againsts certain forms of user-contributed content such as videos on Youtube or reader comments on blog pages.
Bots are also used to buy up good seats for concerts, particularly by ticket brokers who resell the tickets. Bots are employed against entertainment event-ticketing sites, like TicketMaster.com. The bots are used by ticket brokers to unfairly obtain the best seats for themselves while depriving the general public from also having a chance to obtain the good seats. The bot runs through the purchase process and obtains better seats by pulling as many seats back as it can.
Bots are often used in massively multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPG) to farm for resources that would otherwise take significant time or effort to obtain; this is a concern for most online in-game economies. As such, players are often banned from their respective MMORPG for going outside the programming and "cheating" as bots are not typically allowed because they give an unfair advantage.

The most widely used anti-bot technique is the use of CAPTCHA, which is a type of Turing test used to distinguish between a human user and a less-sophisticated AI-powered bot, by the use of graphically encoded human-readable text.

Over to you...

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

What can IT do for my business?

2011-08-10T12:49:00.005+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Let “IT” work for you?

When it comes to handling data there is nothing better than IT for speed and efficiency!

The question is; is it a database or spreadsheet that would best fill your needs? It could be Microsoft Access or Microsoft Excel or maybe even one of the very good open source programs available, but whatever your choice you need get the right tool for the job.

Making the right choice is critical if you want to access and update your information with maximum performance and accuracy, so how do we pick the program that will work best for your data.

In both database and spreadsheet, you can:

Run powerful queries to sort and filter your data.
Run sophisticated calculations to derive the information you want.
Generate reports on your data and view them in multiple formats.
Use forms to add, change, delete, and navigate your data easily.
Create a mail merge - for example, to mass-produce address labels.

Both types of programs organize data in columns, which are also called fields, that store a particular kind of information, or data. At the top of each column, the first cell is used to label the column. The One difference in terminology is that what is called a row in a spreadsheet is called a record in database.

Comparison?
Excel is a spreadsheet software program not a database management system. It stores units of information in rows and columns of cells, called worksheets. Common tasks performed in Excel are the management of lists such as telephone numbers and personnel data.

Access is a database system and stores its data in tables that look much the same as worksheets but are designed for complex querying in relation to data stored in other tables and locations, and even in fields in other tables.

While both programs work well for managing various types of data, each one has clear advantages depending on those types of data and what you want to do with it.

Which do I choose?

Firstly: Is your data relational or not?

If you can store your data logically in a single table or worksheet, then you should do it. Meaning that the data in each column is directly related and needs only to reside in a single, flat table in either spreadsheet or database. It should reside in and be updated in the same view. Data of this kind, contained in a single page or sheet is called flat or non-relational data.

If your data needs to be stored in more than one table, then you need a relational database. Each table is basically a description of a type of data. If you require a relational database, you've identified a one-to-many relationship in your data. For example, if you have a customer order database, one table will contain customer names and contact details while another will contain their orders. Each single customer may have many orders. You might want to have another table for order details as each order can have many different product line. This type of Relational data is best stored in a database.

It is always a challenge to organize data effectively for retrieval in an efficient manner and the more data you have, the more likely you are to need to store it in multiple tables of a database. To help manage your data and keep it accurate, both spreadsheet and datbase will provide you with unique identifiers.

In Access for instance, a primary key uniquely identifies each record, wheras

In Excel, each row is numbered and each column is denoted by a letter, so each cell or range of cells has a reference such as B5.

When to use a Database
Use a database when you:

Require a relational database (multiple tables) to store your data.
You may need to expand and add more tables in the future to an originally flat or non-relational data set.

For example, if you want to keep track of customer information such as first and last names, addresses, and telephone numbers, but that information may grow to include actions by customers such as orders, then consider starting your data project in database.

Have a very large amount of data (thousands of entries).

For example, if you work in a large company and are required to store personnel information, then use a database.

Have data that is mostly of the seen as text.
Want to run complex queries.
You have many people working in the database and want robust options to expose that data for updating.

For example, Access offers data access pages for the more technical user and forms if you want to be more user friendly.

When to use a Spreadsheet
Use a spreadsheet when you:

Require a flat or non-relational view of your data (you do not need a relational database with multiple tables).

This is especially true if that data is mostly numeric—for example, if you want to maintain a financial budget for a given year.

Want to run primarily calculations and statistical comparisons on your data - for example, if you want to show a cost/benefit analysis in your company's budget.
Know your dataset is manageable in size (no more than 15,000 rows).

Whether you choose a database or a spreadsheet, protecting your data is a must!

No matter which program you choose, it's important that you know how to help protect your data. So, here are a few tips:

Always create a backup copy of your file each time you update your data.
Avoid blank cells in your rows and columns that contain data.
Use Show/Hide options to remove critical data from view where possible.
Take measures to control user access to your data to help protect it. Security measures include:

Encryption

Password requirements

User-level permissions

Digital signatures

Read-only privileges

Creating a suitable spreadsheet or database can be a daunting prospect for those new to IT and the concept of theses options but getting rid of those old outdated filing systems will probably be the most effieciant and profitable step you'll ever take in your business.

If you would like to discuss your needs and recieve some helpful advice you can contact me for a no obligation chat about what you want to achieve and what I may be able to offer you!

I may be able to give you a little advice that will set you on the right path, I may recommend a ready made option or I may if I think its required offer to design and build an option to suit your requirements from bottom up! That shouldn't frighten you as simple spreadsheets can start at just £50

Contact me now to see if I can help

If you would like to see how a simple spreadsheet can be used as a cost risk analysis tool you can download an excel spreadsheet right here Free of charge

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Empire Avenue

2011-08-03T20:17:00.000+01:00

{EAV_BLOG_VER:94059d89439e76b0}

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Check me out on Empire Avenue and buy some fun shares to make yourself money in this fun social stockmarket game.

Let me know when you join straight away and I'll buy shares in you to increase your value

http://www.empireavenue.com/p/

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Free Twitter Templates

2011-07-26T08:26:00.000+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Something For Nothing!

It isn't very often that happens, but there are 42 Free Templates available for Twitter right now!

Follow the link to Web Design by Andrew Eldridge to get yours. You can get them personalised or even have one personally designed to your brief!

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Babies are being HUNG before they can stand

2011-07-18T15:05:00.001+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Should we hang them or should we allow them to Stand?

It's a dilemma I know because we all have times when we would like to hang our babies ;-) but with the New Dimension three dimensional portraits you can choose which ever way you like!

3D or not 3D what is your choice? Old fashioned portrait photography has just been blown out of the water!

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Tribute to Uncle John

2011-07-13T19:52:00.001+01:00

Uncle John

A generous and very loveable man

An uncle but a friend in many ways too

The man who took me for my first pint in a pub when aged 21 he brought me something I'll treasure forever!

John the boy in the Cooperage

John the man

God be with you John

Enjoy yourself free from pain!

Be happy in the great pub in the sky where you can hear and see all before you!

You maybe be gone but you wont be forgotten! xxx

Yes we lost John through this dreaded disease please show your support with a direct donation

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"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Launching Parkers (Dance) World

2011-07-13T08:45:00.001+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Today's launch Stories for Dance include...

Good dancing may be sign of male health, scientists say

"Scientists say they've carried out the first rigorous analysis of dance moves that make men attractive to women.

The researchers say that movements associated with good dancing may be indicative of good health and reproductive potential..."

News Gathering For You...

This last week I've been searching around the world, working and testing my news gathering web pages!

I've been setting up the pages in such a way that aggregates all the news from hundreds of web sources into into one easily accessible page that you can subscribe too should the subject be of interest to you!

Rather than scour the whole Internet for you interesting stuff, it simply offers you the choice of visiting one page everyday for all your news about your selected subject as recommended by twitter and facebook users around the world. It posts a headline and a brief snip of the story and and an easy link direct to the full story if it catches your eye!

Over the next ten days I'm going to provide you with the link to each of my news pages which cover different subjects. Each news desk edition will offer a different subject as below...

Parkers (Building) World published daily 8am

Parkers (Business) World published daily 9am

Parkers (Woman's) World published daily 10am

Parkers (Dance) World published daily 11am

Parkers (Baby) World published daily 12am

Parkers (Chelsea) World published daily 1pm

Parkers (Twitter Friends) World published daily 2pm

Parkers (Celebrity) World published daily 3pm

Parkers (Mans) World published daily 4pm

Parkers (Burton on Trent) World published daily 5pm

Today's launch is Parkers (Dance) World

Read Parkers (Dance) World

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Treat your Kids Vote Keep them as Children for Longer

2011-07-12T11:15:00.003+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Zoom back to 1962 for a Great Kids Treat

Tracey Island Treat! Ice cream mountain & Fab on blue jelly

An edible toy rocket, an ice lolly sculpture in three colours, with real fins on the side the sides! One of the first lollies ever to be advertised on television and in cinemas; Lyons Maid the makers of Zoom asked Gerry Anderson who hadn't yet made Thunderbirds, but had made a series called Fireball XL5, in which Colonel Steve Zodiac and Robert the "On our way 'Ome" Robot appeared as the World Space Patrol battled against the invading aliens. Zoony the Lazoon was a favourite of mine

The adverts for Zoom featured these puppets and in colour too, which was far better than in the television series where they were only seen in black and white. The Zoom became a best-seller as a result.

A year later in 1963, along came the queen of all lollies: "Fab" probably aimed at the girls as it had all the glitz and glamour of the hundreds and thousands sprinkled on top making the Fab feminine and sophisticated through the eyes of a young girl.

When Thunderbirds was launched in 1965 it was my boss Lady P who developed the catch phrase F.A.B. adding further to the glamour and sophistication with the pink suits and of course the mansion and my Rolls Fab1.

Actually it was all very clever marketing stuff in my opinion as it was product placement at its best. As kids we loved the adventure of the rescues and then pestering our mums as soon as the ice cream van arrived uncannily at times just after the episode :)

How nice it was that these ice lollies and their advertising were aimed at children who were children!

For those that are involved in advertising now days, perhaps you should remember kids don't need to be sexualised, that comes to them all too soon. Give them time to enjoy their innocence.

If you agree! Please post a comment or share this page!

Thanks to The Real Tony C for the Tracey Island recipe idea! pay him a visit for some real sumptuous recipes

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Launching Parkers (Woman's) World

2011-07-12T08:59:00.001+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Today's launch Stories for the ladies include...

For all you Women - The Power of Words

"When I sat to write this article it was to simply share a message that I received for all you beautiful women and girls out there; beautiful in the sense of your soul, your spirit, your essence – and it is those things, and those things alone that are true beauty and that will be the magnate to attract other beautiful things in your lives."

News Gathering For You...

This last week I've been searching around the world, working and testing my news gathering web pages!

Over the next ten days I'm going to provide you with the link to each of my news pages which cover different subjects. Each news desk edition will offer a different subject as below...

Parkers (Building) World published daily 8am

Parkers (Business) World published daily 9am

Parkers (Woman's) World published daily 10am

Parkers (Dance) World published daily 11am

Parkers (Baby) World published daily 12am

Parkers (Chelsea) World published daily 1pm

Parkers (Twitter Friends) World published daily 2pm

Parkers (Celebrity) World published daily 3pm

Parkers (Mans) World published daily 4pm

Parkers (Burton on Trent) World published daily 5pm

Today's launch is Parkers (Woman's) World

Read Parkers (Woman's) World

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Launching Parkers (Business) World

2011-07-11T17:28:00.077+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Today's Business launch Stories include...

How Can One Document Save Your Business? Upstart Business Consulting Group Explains

"Many new entrepreneurs do not know where to start when it comes to writing a business plan..."

News Gathering For You...

This last week I've been searching around the world, working and testing my news gathering web pages!

Over the next ten days I'm going to provide you with the link to each of my news pages which cover different subjects. Each news desk edition will offer a different subject as below...

Parkers (Building) World published daily 8am

Parkers (Business) World published daily 9am

Parkers (Woman's) World published daily 10am

Parkers (Dance) World published daily 11am

Parkers (Baby) World published daily 12am

Parkers (Chelsea) World published daily 1pm

Parkers (Twitter Friends) World published daily 2pm

Parkers (Celebrity) World published daily 3pm

Parkers (Mans) World published daily 4pm

Parkers (Burton on Trent) World published daily 5pm

Today's launch is Parkers (Business) World

Read Parkers (Business) World

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

A Coming together of Building News

2011-07-09T14:35:00.031+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

News Gathering

This last week I've been searching around the world, working and testing my news gathering web pages!

Over the next ten days I'm going to provide you with the link to each of my news pages which cover different subjects. Each news desk edition will offer a different subject as below...

Parkers (Builders) World published daily 8am Read Now!
Parkers (Business) World published daily 9am
Parkers (Woman's) World published daily 10am
Parkers (Dance) World published daily 11am
Parkers (Baby) World published daily 12am
Parkers (Chelsea) World published daily 1pm
Parkers (Twitter Friends) World published daily 2pm
Parkers (Celebrity) World published daily 3pm
Parkers (Mans) World published daily 4pm
Parkers (Burton on Trent) World published daily 5pm

Over the next ten days I'm going to provide you with the link to each of my news pages which cover different subjects. Each news desk edition will differing subject editions relating to the subject

Today's launch is Parkers (Building) World

Parkers (Building) World

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Naughty Temptation

2011-07-08T14:31:00.000+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Go on! Share Me! Tease your friends! its...

Naughty but Nice!!!

Yum! Yum! Mmmmmmmmmmmm

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Share the Tease for #FunFriday :-)

Pregnancy Preservation

2011-07-06T17:43:00.000+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Preserve Your Bump Forever!!!

What do you think of this?

A great new way to preserve your bump with a glorious three dimensional body sculpture from Andrew Eldridge

The image shown, shows the pre-finished state.

Once prepared it can be finished in porcelain white, bronze, silver and gold, with additional antiqued options.

Available in a range of sizes these beautiful portrait sculptures come framed for the wall or as a freestanding shelf ornament!

To find out more click to visit 3D Portraits by Andrew Eldridge

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Parkers News World

2011-07-05T14:55:00.001+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Preparing for Launch of 4 New Web News sites!

Parkers (Womans) World

Parkers (Mans) World

Parkers (Dance) World

Parkers (Chelsea) World

Each of these sites will carry aggregated news from around the Internet and will offer content related to there (in brackets) title. The aim is to put all of the stuff that covers your interests in once place so that you can reach it with the click of just one button.

The links to the news should be added tomorrow so please keep your eye out, I'm sure they'll be worth a read!

If you would like me to add another subject to my titles please drop me a comment below!

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Meet The Dongles!

2011-07-04T11:20:00.005+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Never Mind The Dingles

Computers & Dongles - Filing Cabinets and Drawers

Had Lady H (Or Computer lady as I call 'Er!) known that she was about to be dragged out of her comfort zone, she might 'Ave decided to join the dole queue rather than launch herself on the unsuspecting general public. She wos telling Lady P that starting a new business seemed like a good idea at the time cos, she felt that there was a genuine need for I.T Tuition in the home.

What she hadn’t taken into account was that she would soon have a run in with The Dongles and there wireless Internet connection problems!

"OMG!!" she said, wot with that, printer problems, downloading, PC’s running slow and folk wanting to surf with no virus protection, Oh woe was she!!!

It seems so much for a computer beginner to learn...

One of her first clients was a very nice man who just wanted to surf the web, he had a rarely used laptop and a newly installed Internet connection.

Twenty minutes into the lesson, they lost the Internet connection, the very nice man contacted his ISP explained very briefly then passed the phone to The Computer Lady, who tried to resist, which was a natural reaction to a man having problems wiv 'is dongle "Yes but!! No but!!" she said "Oh OK then".

During the next hour a very nice foreign lady instructed her to check lights and cables, switch off router or unplug cable, wait thirty seconds then switch back on, followed by an intense tour through the control panel and C: drive, so phone in one hand and scrabbling on hands and knees under TV unit, she was trying to follow instructions, eventually connection was resumed by this time the one hour session booked, was well and truly over.

The Computer Lady being kind of heart, insisted on carrying on to show the very nice worried man how to use his, already set up by someone else, email account, she reassured him that the likelihood of him having to go through all that again was minimal and she was only going to charge him for the one hours tuition that they had agreed on, this took another length of time as he could not remember his password, which turned out to have been set up over a year ago and never been used.

The one hour session swiftly turned into over three hours and true to her word she only charged him for one hour, as she drove the eight miles home, she chuckled to herself and thought there has to be an easier way to make a living than this!! And what day could she sign on.

By the time she'd 'Ad this little tate r tate with Lady P over tea and scones, she was convinced she wos doing the right thing after all, and over a year later she is still helping so many people new to computers get to grips with the basics and much more, teaching them everyday things like, setting up email, online shopping, paying bills, selling on EBay, Facebook, Twitter, Skype and Microsoft office.

She always welcomes beginners and says "there's no need to struggle", The Computer Lady is user friendly and very patient.

Cos I've 'Ad a bit of training myself, I like to think of a computer like a filing cabinet with lots of drawers and folders in it!

Now a data dongle (stick) isn't much different! If you imagine a dongle as as an extra drawer for your filing cabinet, you can put lots more folders in it with lots more information and if I have lots of dongles I have lots of drawers and lots more room for hiding stuff.

Any way I'm sure The Computer Lady can explain it all far better than me, she'll help you to organise and manage your content to suit your needs...

BTW My mate Andrew can design, build and install you a Content Management System into your own website. Once you have one of these you don't need to keep running back to your webdesigner every time you want to make a change because if you can use MS Word you can just change the information you display as and when you please and I'm sure The Computer Lady will be happy to show you how to use it!

Find out more about a Content Management System

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Sex and Dancing

2011-07-02T11:27:00.004+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Dancing is like the Karma Sutra...

There is always a new move to learn...

and just as in life there is always an interesting position on the next page...

'Owever!!!

There are some moves that may never get into the book...

Dancing is, according to George Bernard Shaw, "The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music". So...

If you want some interesting new positions in your life! Learn Dance - Modern Jive...

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Life and Death - Return of the Death Mask

2011-07-01T13:10:00.002+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

A Potted History of Life/Death Masks - From original clay and wax masks to modern capture technology where 3D portraiture now adds a new dimension to preserving memories of the people we love.

Death Masks

In Western cultures a death mask is a wax or plaster cast made of a person’s face following death. Death masks may be mementos of the dead, or be used for creation of three dimensional portraits. In other cultures a death mask may be a clay or another artifact placed on the face of the deceased before burial rites. The best known of these are the masks used by ancient Egyptians as part of the mummification process, such as Tutankhamen’s burial mask. In the seventeenth century in some European countries, it was common for death masks to be used as part of an effigy of the deceased and displayed at state funerals. During the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries they were also used to record the features of unknown corpses for purposes of identification. A function later replaced by photography.

History

Masks of deceased persons are part of traditions in many countries. In ancient Egypt, the most important process of the funeral ceremony was the mummification of the body, where, after prayers and consecration, it would be placed into a sarcophagus, which would be enamelled and decorated with gold and gems. A special element of the rite was a sculpted mask, which was placed onto the face of the deceased. This mask was believed to strengthen the spirit of the mummy and guard the soul from evil spirits on its way to the after world. The mask of Tutankhamen made of gold and gems, conveys the highly stylized features of the ancient ruler. However, those such masks were not, made from casts of the features; but rather, the mummification process in itself, which preserved the features of the deceased. In Roman portrait sculptures, the lifelike character has been attributed to the earlier Roman use of wax to preserve the features of deceased family members. These wax masks were subsequently reproduced in stone.

Casts

In the late Middle Ages, a shift took place from sculpted masks to true death masks, when these would be made of wax or plaster. These masks would not be interred with the deceased but instead, following their use in funeral ceremonies, would later be kept in libraries, museums and universities. Death masks were not only the preserve of deceased royalty and nobility, but also of eminent poets, philosophers, and dramatists; the celebrities of their day! As earlier in ancient Rome, death masks were often subsequently used in making marble sculpture portraits, busts or engravings of the deceased.

Modern Day

Since the birth of photography in the early 1800s much of the portraiture we see today has been created through the use of the camera and as a result we have seen a move away from the traditionally painted or 3D sculptured portrait. The production and time costs saving when compared to those oil painted and sculptured portraits ensured portraiture would be available to the masses. The first permanent photographic image produced was in 1826 by the French inventor Joseph Nicéphore Niépce. He produced his photographs on a polished pewter plate which would be covered with a petroleum derivative called bitumen of Judea. The bitumen would harden as it was exposed to light and any unhardened material would then be washed away. The metal plate when polished, would then provide a negative image from which, when coated with ink, could be used to impress a positive image upon paper to produce a print. Further development in a partnership with Louis Daguerre lead after his death in 1833 to Daguerre himself inventing a process using silver on a copper plate christened the daguerreotype. The daguerreotype itself proved popular in responding to the demand for portraiture emerging from the middle classes during the Industrial Revolution. Since then at the end of the twentieth century, we have seen the rising influence of the digital camera and the ability to manipulate the created images still further by use of a computer aided packages. Sadly, however good this was at helping us to see and remember ancestors long gone, it has only ever been able to produce images two dimensionally on a flat surface!

Today!!!
Of course a true death mask is perhaps something that not all of us in this day and age would contemplate and even though it can be done in a completely non-invasive way which is totally non contact and respectful to the diseased it still will not appeal to everyone! However many people are looking for fitting memorials for their loved ones these days and of course amongst other things they are adding photographs to the headstones!

Just as with a photograph these masks can be created at anytime during a lifetime. They can be made as an ornamental item for display, mounted and framed for wall hanging or of course supplied ready for attachment to a head stone!

If you would like further details about this service and all the options that 3D Portraiture can offer you...

Please follow the link to New Dimension - 3D Portraits & Sculpture Modelling By Andrew Eldridge

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

3 Mercian T Shirt Appeal

2011-06-30T14:41:00.000+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Yes Sir...

Great to hear from Nikita this morning requesting my support!

I'll be delighted to help promote the appeal in any way I can and Andrew is pleased to do the photoshoot and provide the pictures for you!

Well done for taking the plunge and asking :-)

"Paul and Debbie are very proud parents of a serving soldier who left for Afghanistan in January 2011. They decided to sell a few T-shirts to some of the locals in their club for 3 Mercian making money for our serving men and women out there. Word soon got around of the good charitable work there doing making no money from this brilliant cause, even 3 Mercian got to hear about this, who decided t...o drop their planned T-shirt campaign and gave Paul and Debbie full backing to theres. After some discussions an agreement was made as to the wording and giving them permission to use the Mercian Eagle"

I'll look forward to a fun filled photoshoot as driving tanks is a little different to driving the Rolls and the guns on them there tanks are a litle bit bigger than the one behind my radiator!

Nikita!!! You did say I could drive didn't you???

Meanwhile I'd best go find that tin of Blanco...

While you show your support...

3 Mercian T Shirt Appeal

3 Mercian

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Leaflet Creatives for 3D Portraits with £25 voucher

2011-06-29T22:48:00.001+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

More Creatives

Leaflet Front

& Back

"Click through for more information"

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

3D Mums Dads Bumps and Babes

2011-06-29T12:56:00.001+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

I've been Creative today... How about you?

If you've been getting creative just lately, you might want to check out this new mums and bumps service that offers 3 dimensional sculpture modelling of your bump and or your baby.

Although my creative actions were perhaps not quite so much fun as yours, they may have lasted just a little longer as I just spent most of this morning creating this new advert that will be appearing in the next Lots For Tots magazine.

Its going off to the publishers tomorrow and should be delivered near you soon.

"These truly tactile portraits can be displayed in an elegant deep box frame or created as free standing ornamental shelf items. Unlike traditional photographic portraits that fade over a period of time, these stunning works of art will last you and your family for forever!"

Click through for more 3D Portrait Sculpture info.

Talking of deliveries, at least now you know who to call - Just like the midwife, this service can be made available in the comfort of your home almost wherever it maybe.

"It feels good to be creative"

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Macmillan Support in Cognito?

2011-06-28T09:57:00.002+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

All in a Good Cause...

Lady Ann has put me in a Spin a time or two...

She can be so cheeky at times.

So, I introduced her to my friend Doctor Regan...

You can see by the look on her face she was looking forward to what was coming her way...

"Don't worry" he said "It's only a little prick!"

I 'Ave to say though. She put on a fantastic night!

Heveryone was kept Hentertained with some popular music tracks from young Master G and her hubby Lord Brian

Raising over £1000 she did herself and the dancing world proud as jivers from all over the midlands were in attendance

In Lady Ann's own words

"Wow! wot a party!! Huge thx to everyone that made the night such a great success!Thx for the wonderful and somewhat imaginative outfits you wore! Many thanks to Brian (sound) Nick (music) and for Ian and Gerry for lending me the tablecloths, etc. Between us we raised £1,034.12 for Macmillan nurses!!!!! I am so proud to have such caring, giving, generous and fantastic dancers as my friends. Well done to you all!!!!x"

When Lady Karen arrived she told me she was in Cognito!

Its quite delicate when you have to tell your employers friend that she is wrong!

M'Lady I said " I think your sat nav has failed you cos you is in Willington

When I caught up with Lady Norma who arrived in a sexy nurses uniform I joked " 'Ave you come to give me a bed bath?" and she told me "No Parker! I've come as the nit Nurse"

Next thing ya knows and there she is dancing with the Gyno mac ologi wosit Lord Tom

My Mates were delayed! They came across a lady in a dress

Distress 'O' course

Please show your support for Lady Ann and make a donation direct to Macmillan Cancer Support

Thanks to Clive at (Altered Images) and the friends of Lady Ann for the use of their pictures

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Apprentice Reaching for “The Rainbow Ring!!!”

2011-06-27T17:29:00.009+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

“Is there room for an old apprentice in This Land of Milk and Honey”

Would you like to live in a world where pleasure is the way of life?

A world full of beauty and vitality of youth?

A world where Everything is perfect?

A land in which you may have...

Free Sex! - Free Drugs! - Free Rock and Roll!

Your own apartment! - Free medical attention! - Plentiful food! - Fresh water and heating!

Communication and entertainment! - A personal transport system at your beck and call!

Work will be plentiful and rewarding for the community via a pleasurable job that suits your skills for just a few hours per day!

In this land of promises, there will be no need for money as everything you ever need will be provided as and when required.

However!!!

To live here; there is one small price that must be paid!

You must ride the giant Carousel in an effort to reach “The Rainbow Ring!!!”

In a man-made city of the 23rd century, humans live in a world without crime, hunger, or strife. The only problem is that no one is allowed to live past the age of 30 (population control). Concerned about his future, almost-30-year-old Logan (Michael York) escapes the city and is joined by Jessica (Jenny Agutter). Although Logan's former partner Francis (Richard Jordan) is on their trail, determined to catch Logan and end his rebellion, Logan and Jessica clear their city and enter the outside world where adventure and dangers await. This Academy Award winner for Best Visual Effects gets high marks in that realm

In this world we live in, I've heard there is also the promise of a rainbow ring...

If you work hard and use entrepreneurial skills you will and can achieve. However, successive governments over decades seem to be determined to make it unachievable as they consistently give you a penny only to take a pound.

Just as in the film! If you do not reach the rainbow ring and do not achieve your aims then the carousel will take you away! In this case, not to your death but to the scrapheap of life where the young will consider you worthless because you are over the hill at 30. A place where no one wants to employ you because they think you still do your drawings on the wall of a cave and you do your counting in your head!

In a time right now when it seems we are paying off our forebears debts, we are also paying for the debts of the future in order to protect the young! Are we doing ourselves an injustice? What are we doing to help ourselves?

It seems to me we are allowing these young career politicians to run our lives when they have no time served experience of it themselves other that what they have read in the university libraries!

Just a few interesting Quotes...

"Everything you want in life has a price connected to it. There's a price to pay if you want to make things better, a price to pay just for leaving things as they are, a price for everything".

"The income tax has destroyed the concept of financial privacy. It has demolished the idea that a man's home is his castle. It has provided unlimited funding for politicians to wreck lives and property. It has forced one-earner families to become two-earner households -- leading to decreased parental supervision of children; loss of family values; and increased crime, promiscuity and drug use. So long as the government has the power to invade our lives, rummage through our records, and take what it wants from our income, we will have only as much freedom and take-home pay as the politicians condescend to let us have".

"But what could be more important than your happiness? It's said that an authoritarian moral code is necessary to protect society. But who is society? Isn't it just a large group of people, all of whom have differing ideas concerning how one should live? And if an individual is required to give up his own happiness, of what value is society to him?"

"So what is government?... Very simply, it is an agency of coercion. Of course, there are other agencies of coercion -- such as the Mafia. So to be more precise, government is the agency of coercion that has flags in front of its offices."

"You are where you are today because you have chosen to be there!!!"

Am I really Guv? Is it time for us to start running?

PS: Lord Sugar - It might be nice to see what the older generation could offer you :-)

Please Tweet...

I Found #TheRainBowRing I Hope you do too http://tiny.cc/jjrar

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

500 Plus

2011-06-26T23:08:00.000+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Pleased to see the 500 up

Dear Peeps

After just a week my blog has reached 500 visitors so I'd like to thank you all for making it happen.

I hope you will all continue to read, begin to participate and provide me with the inspration to write about what you do!

Thank you once again!

Kind Regards

Aloysuis

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Insurance Racket

2011-06-26T15:55:00.001+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Car insurance has got to be a racket!!!

I really am Gobsmacked!

Just done a price comparison on insuring the Rolls...

Saved £230

now only £280

Not only that but one comparison site has this new insurer also showing and £26 more expensive at £306 so it pays to compare on more than one site!!!

Lady P will be pleased!

I shall be calling Swinton in the morning...

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Oh Sugar I don't want the Sack

2011-06-25T17:07:00.002+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Ooo Eck! Lady P threatened me with the Sack if I don't buck me ideas up!

"Parker" she said "Do you want to keep your job?"

Anyways I thought I'd best take a look around at what was on offer! You know just in case like!

I thought I might like to try being an apprentice at the sugar factory with that sweet feller but ee turned out to be one of Lady P friends 'im being a lord an all that!

Anyways I thought ee only employs kiddy winks as an apprentice and he might just tell Lady P I was lookin' for a move when really I quite likes me job I've got!

I did have a look around though, and I found this cracking opportunity of a job drivin' a lorry! Not only was it a lorry but it was a 'gulley sucker' too and it had even got brushes on the side and underneath.

Now I once said to my last boss if you stick a brush up me Hariss I'll sweep the motorway for you on the way and that's just 'ow I lost that job in the first place but with this job I could do it Properly!

Anyway I applied for this job at DPSL but I got turned down!

Now before Lady P took me away from the life of crime, I got my convictions for a bit o this and that and spent some time at 'Er Majesty's pleasure but the one thing I 'Aven't got on my CV is "Professional Kerb Crawler" and that was wot they was lookin' for!

Anyway when I asked em at the Hinterview 'ow they got the name DPSL they said it was made up from their initals...

DPSL = Dave Putman Sandra Lewis or perhaps it could be Dodgy People Sweeping Leaves

'Ence it became DPSL Sweepers

In the end I thought that it was a good job I wasn't qualified, cos though it might have got me out of the s**t with Lady P! I thinks there would have been a lot more of it that I would have had to cope with!

Anyway I'd best not say much more cos Lady Sandra might drop it out to Lady P

You see she's started dancing classes where Lady P is the DJ and business partner with the teacher Lady N.

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

What Drives You to Blog, Post, Tweet or even Read?

2011-06-24T12:46:00.000+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

So what is that makes you respond to them by adding a comment?

Is it because you are inspired by what the writer has to say?
Is it often a topic that irritates you or are you agitated by someone else who has posted a comment and you just have to have your say?
Do you feel you are like a site policeman or sensor and feel its your duty to monitor the blogs for anything which is perceived to be negative or politically incorrect?
Do you like to hear yourself in print?
Do you like to dangle the fishing line and love winding people up as you bait them?
Do you think it is your role to educate and guide people and therefore you just can't help putting a comment on a blog?
Is it only ever your favourite writers blogs that you comment on?
Do you look at a blog or a comment and think what a load of nonsense, this person is talking rubbish and it drives you to contribute to the blog?
Are you one of these people who comments with the words 'awesome blog'?
Are you too scared to post a comment on a blog written by a person who is very vocal?
Do you fear your views maybe controversial and therefore hold back?
Or are you one of those super speed surfing people who just can't be bothered and rarely gets past the first two lines in the first place, (Ooops you've probably already gone!) as you bounce along from one page to another without truly seeing what is laid out before you?

Without you the reader! A blog or a post is worthless! Without the knowledge that people are enjoying, reading, disagreeing, agreeing, etc there would be no point in its production, so, whatever your views; it is my opinion that you should express yourself!

Two thing I do know is there are lots of little gems out there that are well worth a read and discussion and, a good cover doesn't always make a good book!

So, if you are a regular poster you know what to do. Feel free...

If this is new to you and you have not posted before? Go on! Have your say and enter a new dimension...

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Why I am divorced...

2011-06-23T13:13:00.017+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

A Tale of Woe from a friend of Lady P...

Last week was my Birthday. I awoke not feeling to well and went down to breakfast hoping that maybe I would get some kind words from my husband, or even a Happy birthday and a small present, but I didn’t get either. Well that’s marriage for you I thought.

My kids came down and I didn’t get a word from them either, so I went off to work that day feeling quite despondent.

When I arrived at the office my handsome boss put his head round the door and said "Good morning lady and a Happy Birthday to you" I felt much better after this, as at last someone had remembered.

At 1pm my boss came in and said "Come on it’s a beautiful day out there, how about we get some lunch, just you and me?" "Thanks" I said, that was the best thing I'd heard all day.

We went to a quiet little bistro where we had a few drinks and a lovely meal. On the way back to the office my boss said, "we don’t have to hurry back you know".

I asked what he had in mind, to which he replied "we can drop in my place it’s just around the corner".

OK I said and off we went. We entered his apartment and I sat down on the couch.

He said "I just need to get something from the bedroom, make yourself comfortable" which I did.

A few minutes later he stepped out carrying a birthday cake!

He was followed by my husband, kids, and all my co-workers singing Happy Birthday, and I just sat there………

Naked!

Sometimes in life, not all is what it seems. We move through life on a daily basis thinking everything is this way or that, when all along there is a 3rd dimension around us that can often throw us Huge surprises!

Sometimes good and sometimes not so good!

How do you handle or help a friend who's just got divorced?

M'lady says there are few things you shouldn't say to them!

Like...

Are you sure?
How long were you married? And upon finding out it was a relatively short period – Oh, well, at least it was short.
I saw it coming all along.
Who filed for divorce? Did you go to court? What did you get? Who has custody?
But you were such a perfect couple!
May you get remarried soon!
Or the howler...... You should have kept your knickers on!

Now because M'lady has lots of that there Hetiquette she would...

Let them lead. Recognize that some people want to talk and others do not. Respect their choice.
Show empathy. Tell them you are sorry about their divorce. Ask how they are doing.
Offer your support and give encouragement. Simply saying, I’m here if there is anything you need, can go a long way.
Keep silent. If you don’t know what to say, silence can be golden and acceptable.
Be sensitive. They haven't become aliens overnight! Make them feel included despite their change in marital status.
Understand their journey. Grief is a part of the healing process as people learn to adjust to life after separation.

These days you may encounter someone at any stage during their divorce process. By practicing sincerity and using common courtesy, we can be more mindful in our interactions with people as they undergo a time of reflection and change!

Need some help?

Divorce Recovery Workshop

Support to help you grow through separation

"It helped me to know that everybody goes through the same feelings and thoughts as I did."

"I am able to trust again and find peace of mind and personal fulfillment."

"Assuming responsibility for my own happiness was the high point for me. I have become more positive about the future."

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Fancy That!!! for Macmillan Cancer Care

2011-06-22T15:37:00.002+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Now there's a Flap on!!! Wot to wear? Wot to wear?

Now I only know about this cos I had my ear to the keyhole wink! wink! but when Lady A came to tea yesterday she told Lady P to get all dressed up! Fancy Like!

You see! Lady Ps friend is having a party...

Midsummer's Night Modern Jive Freestyle

June 24th at Willington power station

"Its my Birthday and I'm having a Bit of a Do!" she was telling Lady P! "and it's in aid of Macmillan Cancer Care so I hope you will be coming along for a dance or three!"

As you can see Lady A loves to dress up, as seen here at one of her previous parties with Lady S

A nice couple of La de Da's

I think she said it was all a bit of an emergency but that might have just been the dress code she was talkin' about.

Any ways! She said that she was going to be a head nurse!! Wot ever that means ???

Apparently there's going to be a police woman there, along with a fireman and several sexy nurses so if you'll excuse me I'm off to polish the roller once more.....

Do you think if I wrap up in a bandage or two I might get some extra attention from those lovely nurses or should I go get me a fireman's outfit and whisk one or two of them orf their feet?

I'm looking forward to this!

Lady A, will be raising money on the night for this fantastic cause but if you want to help please follow the link below direct to MacMillan Donations pages and show your support! She would be delighted be know you have!

Go To Macmillan We are Macmillan Cancer Support

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

What is Love???

2011-06-22T10:36:00.001+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Captain Corelli's Mandolin:

"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away"... (Iannis to Pelagia)

OR

As the Bible says

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;
Love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails...But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13

OR a Third Dimension

"A Mother's Love"

A Mother's love is something that no on can explain,

It is made of deep devotion and of sacrifice and pain,

It is endless and unselfish and enduring come what may

For nothing can destroy it or take that love away . . .

Mum and Baby By Portrait Photographer Andrew Eldridge

It is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking,

And it never fails or falters even though the heart is breaking . . .

It believes beyond believing when the world around condemns,

And it glows with all the beauty of the rarest, brightest gems . . .

It is far beyond defining, it defies all explanation,

And it still remains a secret like the mysteries of creation . . .

A many splendored miracle man cannot understand

And another wondrous evidence of God's tender guiding hand.

Whatever Love is! It feels wonderful to both give and receive it! Embrace it!

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Ghostly Goings on!

2011-06-21T16:19:00.001+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Do you believe in ghosts?

Did your family tell you of ghostly stories that scared you half to death?

Did 'Ammer 'Ouse of 'Orror have you laughing or hiding behind the settee?

Was a 'Journey To the Unknown' a place you would rather not be?

Whatever your story relating to ghosts, or just simply weird coincidental events, be them funny or scary! I'd like to hear about and write about them right here on the Third Dimension Blog!

Please contact me in the first instance with a very brief description of your story!

parkersghosts@andreweldridge.co.uk

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Fully Armed and Ready to Shoot your Babies!!! I can help you get rid of them

2011-06-21T10:00:00.001+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

So you want your baby shooting do you?

Did you have a hard night last night?

Didn't let you sleep till 2 and had you awake again at 5?

Aww poor you! Perhaps you can let me help, because for a small fee I can solve all your problems in one shot...

Yes! I will shoot your baby for you!!!

OK so why would you want me to shoot you baby?

Having had a son who kept us up for months on end without us getting any proper sleep, I know from first hand experience just what its like to sometimes feel I want to shoot my baby. It seemed he didn't sleep day or night and believe me if you have ever been there it is not a pleasant experience. We felt all alone as we stupidly both sat up together trying to sooth him and with neither of us getting any sleep, we were soon exhausted both physically and mentally.

One particular Saturday really got to me when my wife had gone to the shops. He started to cry, nothing unusual you might say but I changed him, fed him, changed him again, made sure I hadn't stuck a safety pin into him, rocked him, cuddled him, you name it, I tried it but this went on for over two hours and I could hardly keep my eyes open! Eventually, and I remember the thoughts vividly to this day some 28 years later, I got to the stage where I wanted to literally throw him through the window! I could take no more! Thankfully I got a grip of myself and laid him on the floor with cushions around him and went upstairs and threw myself on the bed! I have to admit at that point, I had lost it! I was crying my eyes out and pulling my hair at the same time! I realised right then, that I could take no more and my first port of call on the Monday morning was my GP to seek help!

Of course many of us have to go through this to one extent or another but some of us can be better equipped than others at handling things! A common failure of new mums and dads is that they don't like to admit that they maybe struggling to bring a baby through these testing times and I think we were a bit like that! Nowadays with the Internet and various support groups its a little easier to access help...

As many will know "A common problem is when your baby will only fall asleep while you're nearby, holding him or while sucking on a dummy, bottle or breast. This is fine in the day or at bedtime, but it's not so much fun looking for lost dummies at 2am" The stress and anxiety that all this can cause to new mums and families can be enormous so its always best to seek help and guidance. A good source of information is BabyExpert a website devoted to the raising of babies and of course if in doubt never be afraid to contact your GP.

OK! So lets get serious for a minute and find out just why I'm willing to shoot your baby for you in order to resolve your problems!

Firstly I'll carefully charge my weapon so that I can do the job as humanly as possible. I aim to do the job with one clean shot!

Secondly I'll create you a three dimensional tactile model that you can sit on the mantle or hang on the wall when you have finished having a cuddle with it.

Thirdly I'll guarantee that it wont need feeding and it'll never answer you back or cost you another penny!

See! There you go, job done and now you'll be able to hand the real things over to grandma to look after until they've gone through puberty...

Seriously though, I really do shoot babies and in fact I have been winning awards for it for many years as a traditional portrait photographer. Now: As described above; I have entered a third dimension by creating unique 3 Dimensional Portraits that become beautiful ornamental pieces that will last for generations to come.

If you really would like something special as a baby keepsake check it out here! and don't forget if ever you have any baby welfare doubts, always seek help and advice!

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Alternative Universe A split second late and everything changes!

2011-06-20T11:08:00.003+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Have you ever wondered where you could be "IF"?

Every step we take changes the future! Left, right, forwards or backwards, whichever way we choose; we change the world forever!

As a ship passes in the night, do you jump aboard and change your life, or do you hold onto the safety of what you already know?

Just how comfortable is that comfort zone? Are you really sure that, that same old way is the future, or would you like to embrace something a little different?

Some things we have no control over and perhaps some times it is as well that way, but when the choice is available, I choose to be as brave as possible and (Carpe Deum) seize the moment whenever it arrives because the one thing I am 100% sure of; is that if I had never tried, I will have never known and life is just too short to sit there wondering what might have been! What will you do when you next need to choose?

Well!

What do you do? Are you Brave? or do you live life wondering?

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Call me Parker

2011-06-19T12:53:00.009+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

An introduction to my musical friend - Lady P

She is "The DJ" that keeps us dancing xx

Update..... "Do you want to keep your job Parker! :o) x" she says....

I think M'lady would miss me Muchly! :-D x

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Jive Addiction weekender restores belief in the laws of Karma

2011-06-18T15:26:00.006+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

There I was!

All pumped up and raring to go for a weekend of top class dancing with a few dance classes sprinkled in at the first Hemsby Modern Jive event run by Jive Addiction! Bring it on! Sand dunes, surf, a few drinks and dancing night and day for three nights. What better way to spend time than with a great bunch of friends.

Scheduled to leave at 11am on a 3.45 hour journey to beat the afternoon rush hour traffic, I received a text from a little lady to say she has the gas man in and needs to go to shops to get food for her pussies. "I'm going to be 30 minutes late!" Now, considering I wanted to leave at 10am in the first place its not really that much later is it? Of course I'm just a man and I'll wait all day kicking my heals at home when I could be kicking my heals in the soft sand on a nice beach enjoying my hands around the neck of a lovely Stella or a Becks!

Deep sigh!!! Holds nose, closes mouth and forces the steam out of ears! Whats another 30 minutes I thought when I can sit down, chill out and chat with Lady P? No good getting stressed with so far to drive!

Just after 11.30 and on the road at last! The first hour has us averaging 22mph. We just cant get going but worse was to come as 15 mins later we hit a snag! "Accident M1 south, junction 21 to 20" This was no snag; this was a full blown blockage that was to last two hours. Thirty minutes had made all the difference as we were delayed with slow traffic; the accident had only happened 5 to 10 minutes before we got stuck and we could have been through this area before it happened, or then again, this day was just meant to be! Who knows where or what would have happened if we had left earlier? "There but the grace" I do hope all got away safely without serious injury!

So what do you do when your weekend gets off to a flyer like this? Do you sit chuntering and bitching about it all afternoon or do you get up and enjoy yourself? Taking in food and refreshment, the calls of nature catch up with you pretty quickly and the lorry wheels served a useful purpose for many of us guys out there but the poor girls just had to grin and bear it with nowhere to hide!

How to take their minds from it??? Wack the music up!!! Open the doors and let them Dance!!!!

This really is a Jive Addiction

Eventually we got to Hemsby and yes we hit the rush hour I wanted to avoid, but at least we were safe, very weary, but safe non the less after our 7 hour journey. I wonder how many others can claim to have danced on the M1?

(I'm the Buddha at the back)

The accommodation was a little basic but was more than made up for by the quality of the food which was excellent! The dancing was fabulous and I met loads of lovely new people. On the Sunday morning a group of us hit the beach and I tried some dune jumping and loved it - I hadn't done that since I was 14 years old

All in all, a very tiring but great weekend! Thanks to John, Mariane and the team for all your hard work and efforts and a big thanks to all those luscious ladies who I managed to get a dance with!

As a FOOTNOTE (pun intended) When the little lady asked to borrow a pair of my socks next morning I had to refuse as I had only taken enough pairs to last me the weekend! On getting up next morning a pair of my socks were draped over the arm of a chair in the chalet! Hmmm!!! "Did you you wear my socks?" I asked? "Yes" she said. "Where did you get them from?" I asked. "Out of that drawer" She said. That drawer was my dirty washing drawer and the socks had been on my feet for 12 hours the day we travelled. Her face was a treat to see and that little extra dimension called Karma was returned.

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Chill Before Bed Time

2011-06-17T23:08:00.004+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

Just love the sound of the Sax - So Relaxing :-)

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"

Mothers!!! What would we do without you?

2011-06-17T18:46:00.003+01:00

'ello! Parker Speakin' Will you be a new Face in my Book?

When starting something new there is always a little trepidation...

Wondering how to start? From sparkle in the eye to conception; from birth to the first steps. This first article is my first step into the world of blogging and is inspired by a friend of mine who wrote on her Facebook wall the following message about motherhood...

"I've carried a child within my body, slept with them on my chest. I've kissed little toes and wiped away tears. I've been puked on, peed on and spent sleepless nights in cradling my child, but I wouldn't have it any other way. My body isn't magazine perfect, but when I look in the mirror I see a MUM, and… there is no greater honour..... or blessing!!"

Share this on your status if you are a proud mum xx

Mum and Bump 3D Framed Portrait

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"Embracing the shift to a 3D tactile viewing experience"

"Dance dance wherever you maybe. I am the lord of the dance says he!"