A Tale of Woe from a friend of Lady P...
Last week was my Birthday. I awoke not feeling to well and went down to breakfast hoping that maybe I would get some kind words from my husband, or even a Happy birthday and a small present, but I didn’t get either. Well that’s marriage for you I thought.My kids came down and I didn’t get a word from them either, so I went off to work that day feeling quite despondent.
When I arrived at the office my handsome boss put his head round the door and said "Good morning lady and a Happy Birthday to you" I felt much better after this, as at last someone had remembered.
At 1pm my boss came in and said "Come on it’s a beautiful day out there, how about we get some lunch, just you and me?" "Thanks" I said, that was the best thing I'd heard all day.
We went to a quiet little bistro where we had a few drinks and a lovely meal. On the way back to the office my boss said, "we don’t have to hurry back you know".
I asked what he had in mind, to which he replied "we can drop in my place it’s just around the corner".
OK I said and off we went. We entered his apartment and I sat down on the couch.
He said "I just need to get something from the bedroom, make yourself comfortable" which I did.
A few minutes later he stepped out carrying a birthday cake!
He was followed by my husband, kids, and all my co-workers singing Happy Birthday, and I just sat there………
Naked!
Sometimes in life, not all is what it seems. We move through life on a daily basis thinking everything is this way or that, when all along there is a 3rd dimension around us that can often throw us Huge surprises!
Sometimes good and sometimes not so good!
How do you handle or help a friend who's just got divorced?
M'lady says there are few things you shouldn't say to them!
Like...
- Are you sure?
- How long were you married? And upon finding out it was a relatively short period – Oh, well, at least it was short.
- I saw it coming all along.
- Who filed for divorce? Did you go to court? What did you get? Who has custody?
- But you were such a perfect couple!
- May you get remarried soon!
- Or the howler...... You should have kept your knickers on!
Now because M'lady has lots of that there Hetiquette she would...
- Let them lead. Recognize that some people want to talk and others do not. Respect their choice.
- Show empathy. Tell them you are sorry about their divorce. Ask how they are doing.
- Offer your support and give encouragement. Simply saying, I’m here if there is anything you need, can go a long way.
- Keep silent. If you don’t know what to say, silence can be golden and acceptable.
- Be sensitive. They haven't become aliens overnight! Make them feel included despite their change in marital status.
- Understand their journey. Grief is a part of the healing process as people learn to adjust to life after separation.
These days you may encounter someone at any stage during their divorce process. By practicing sincerity and using common courtesy, we can be more mindful in our interactions with people as they undergo a time of reflection and change!
Need some help?
"It helped me to know that everybody goes through the same feelings and thoughts as I did."
"I am able to trust again and find peace of mind and personal fulfillment."
"Assuming responsibility for my own happiness was the high point for me. I have become more positive about the future."
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